Got back late Sunday night from my last State tournament!

I did much better this year compared to previous years. I FINALLY broke to semi-finals and ended up ranking 13th in the state of California! Could be better, but I'm satisfied. There were a few people who didn't make it to finals who I thought definitely should've. And of course, others who broke to finals when I thought they shouldn't have. But oh well, at least we all tried our best. Our team also did quite well, ranking 6th in sweepstakes out of almost 150 schools. Most of all, we beat Monte Vista yaaaaaaaa

There was some serious drama that happened that threatened to kill the whole state experience, but I won't dwell on that too much. The past's the past. Everyone makes mistakes. Let's just hope people will learn from them.

AP Tests are right around the corner and guess what? I haven't started studying!!!!!!

Seriously though, this is bad bad bad. I better crack down on them this weekend. If not, things probably won't look too hot.

Also, my grades have been slipping, and it doesn't help that my teachers have been giving super difficult tests and projects that are just incredibly annoying.

Oh yeah, and all the planning and makeup/hair fussing and limo renting and pre-party organizing and after-party planning and all the stress that goes into one freaking night.

I just hope I'll still have my sanity at the end of the month.

Officially committed to Occidental! Woot!

I'm pretty excited about college and what it has to offer, and the emails I've been exchanging with Oxy students who go to IV have been really encouraging me to just stick with Oxy. On the other hand though, I'm still opting for UCSD and Scripps College's waitlist. 

I've been kind of irritated on how much my mom has been implying that she's forcing me to go to UCSD if I get off the wait-list. As if there was no second option. I mean, I'm fine with UCSD, but I figured there must be a reason why God didn't just let me get in right away... I can understand why she wants our family to stick together and all, but seriously, I need some sort of space. I already fulfilled her wish in applying to all SoCal schools, but I feel like every time I fulfill one of her wants, she just keeps on wanting more.... Just like how you can't expect a mouse to go away once you give it food.

I guess I'll just leave it all up to God. Who knows, if I get into Scripps I might even end up going there (if they give me enough money, that is...)

In other news, preparing for State, which I'm totally not ready for. I don't know, something about the thought of state just kind of drains me. Perhaps it's the fact that I haven't broken at State for the past three years that just made me slightly irritated about it.

AP tests are also coming and I haven't started studying. All plans of studying so far have been completely obliterated thanks to last minute events that came up :/

Came back from Mexico a few days ago and it was wonderful! At the end of the week I was tired, gross, and smelly (so was everyone else) but I still felt refreshed. It just sucks to be back at school and having to face all the unnecessary work load :/

I'm kind of too lazy to go into detail, so I'll just briefly say somethings. Our team (Sky Blue!) finished our house first because we were very fortunate to have a relatively easy work site. I got to meet and bond with more Campo people, and listened to other people's struggles, testimonies, good news, etc.

It was pretty emotional. Not as emotional as Camp Royal, but that's not really the point. I feel like Mexico wanted us to open up to each other and share our insecurities, fears, which is kind of like what Camp Royal wanted to do. But unlike Camp Royal, Mexico seemed more.. forced. I was pretty surprised that so many people were willing to open up and share some personal things about their lives. But then again, maybe I'm just being super picky about how the whole program should be designed. After all, I think the point of Mexico is to 1.) build houses for underprivileged Mexican families, and 2.) expose the love of God to the unbelieving high schoolers. And part of exposing the love of God is to try to get people to be more vulnerable and open up...

But all that aside, I had a great time there. I really wish I could've gone to Mexico in my previous years, but I guess the opportunity never came up.

Now, back to my Spanish presentation. I'm sad to say that my Spanish didnt' improve at all at Mexico, since my team leader pretty much took over the communication with our Mexican family. Ah well.

Back from the Nat Quals IE tournament and I MADE IT TO NATS!!!! YEE INDIANAPOLIS!

I really didn't expect to make that far. Oratory is incredibly competitive and I was already really honored to be able to compete with such talented speakers..... When I got to finals, my jaw literally dropped. And to make it to Nats.... Is just really amazing. Thanks to all of you who helped me immensely with my speech. Couldn't have done it without y'all.

But with good news, there's always bad news. I got rejected by a school that I was expecting to get in to..... So now my college options are pretty limited. I'll just have to pray to God and see which college He really wants me to go to. Cuz frankly, all of the ones I've gotten into so far are like, meh. 

When I asked God to close doors, oh He definitely answers those prayers LOL. 

Still afraid to look up my UCLA decision. 99% sure I got rejected, but I don't want to face that fact quiiiite yet. I'll leave that for later, I guess.

Got my permit and registered to vote today!

Finished some homework, and proceeded to do nothing.... Until I decided to surf through foodporndaily.com. Baaaaaad choice.

I was going to post some wonderful, stomach-churning, mouth-watering, gasp-inducing pictures up here, but stupid LJ won't let me upload images anymore, and I can't attach the link here either........ Perhaps it's time to get a new blog. :P

But seriously, if you're bored, explore that site.

I wish I can cook...

College acceptances and rejections are going to be arriving in a week or so.. Honestly, I'm not looking forward to it at all. I wish I can just be stuck in this state forever. Done with college apps, not needing to care about school so much because I'm a SSS and it's only the beginning of the semester, not knowing most of the college decisions, etc. I don't know why, but I'm not really looking forward to college at all. Probably because I don't want to step out of my comfort zone quite yet? At the same time though, I want to get out of high school. Arghhh

Senioritis is also kicking in early. For the past week, I've been feeling drowsy in my classes, and have been plagued with an unusual case of laziness. I still do my homework and do my best to fulfill roles in Key Club and Pub, but when it comes to studying for tests, writing essays, applying for scholarships, I can't even do that. Heck, there's an interp meeting happening literally right across my street right now, and I can't even muster up the energy to go there and help people.... Sigh.

What can I say? The thing I look forward to the most so far is the Hunger Games movie. Even though I'm still reading the third book, I'm already excited for this movie. 
I can't embed the link to the movie trailer.. So here's the link if you're so inclined to join the Hunger Games Craze:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgssLmsOa2s&feature=relmfu
Speaking of the Hunger Games, I am a District 2 career! Yay! I'm from the evil district >:)

In other news, Winter Retreat went really well. God revealed to me an issue that I need to deal with.. But it's one of the hardest thing one can ever get rid of. Just praying that God will show Himself to me gradually and I will mature in my faith and learn to love Him more and more each day.

Time to actually start writing my Hamlet essay...

My oratory sucks so much. I hate taking a bad speech to a big competition. :( Why can't I write as well as that trophy guy at Nats?

Finally finished with finals and am now officially a second semester senior! Woot!

For the most part, finals were pretty good, with the exception of AP Spanish and Econ (even though everyone else thought it wasn't bad). Oh well.



Been reading Francis Chan's book, "Crazy Love", recently and it definitely got me thinking about breaking out of my comfort zones and giving all that I am to God.. If He asks me to follow Him, would I really just leave immediately, without telling my family and friends and my loved ones about it?

Also, Chan talked a lot about serving the poor. If every person we have ever encountered was actually Jesus, how would we respond to that person? Even if that person's some stinky homeless dude, or a snobby spoiled kid, would I still love that person unconditionally, without expecting anything back?

At one point of the book, Chan told us to replace the word "love" with our names in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always persevered."

After doing the exercise, I felt like such a hypocrite. I'm not always patient, not always kind. I always envy, and have problems with pride.. The list goes on.

So I guess I really don't know what love truly is. Love is a really strong word, which is why I avoid saying it to people on a frequent basis. 

I really don't understand how people can be SO obsessed with God. I know that I should, and I yearn to be obsessed, but I can't confidently say that I don't have doubts either. I don't know enough, and there's way too much to know, and way too much that God has to show me later on in my life...

For now, I can pray and read the scripture. We have to take the first step and try to seek out God so that He can mold us even more. Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.

And with the new year coming in... Resolutions are expected to be made (usually).

Now, I don't take News Years resolutions seriously. In fact, I don't think I've ever succeeded in reaching any one of them during the past few years. But let's see how this year will go, eh? After all, it's a special year with graduation, first year or college, longest summer vacation ever, etc.

Without further ado, here goes:

1.) No soda
    Includes sparkling cider, apple cider, etc. I admit, this is probably not going to be too difficult, knowing that I'm not usually surrounded by soda, except for Friday Nights with Agape. But I know that soda is very detrimental to one's health, so I figured, "why not just avoid it altogether?" Drinking down all that carbon dioxide.. Yikes.

2.) Be motivated
    Seriously, I've been soooooo lazy for the past year yet I always pretend I'm really busy. The fact is, most week days I literally just sit in front of the computer and stare at my screen. Even though I installed Chrome Nanny to help reduce all the unproductivity, I kept having to temporarily disable it because some of my homework actually requires me to watch Youtube videos. 
    So this year, I really, REALLY want that to change. I want to be motivated to do.. something. Whether it's reading a good book, going jogging, SOMETHING. All this laziness needs to stop. 

3.) Finish the Bible
    Four chapters a day. I can do this. It's not for the prize in the end, I have to do this for me. It still feels like a chore to me, but I pray that I'll learn to love God even more as I read more of the Bible. This also kind of ties into my second resolution... To be motivated and take the first step to knowing God more, instead of having God force me to open my eyes through a more cruel way or something. Either way, I guess this is just a big prayer for the upcoming year: to love God with all my heart. I can't force myself to love someone, so I guess the Holy Spirit will have to work its magic too. But I have to put in some effort as well.

I was also thinking about what I plan on doing this summer, which also happens to be the longest summer vacation I will ever get. Knowing that I'll probably be spending a good majority of it at Taiwan again, here's what I have so far:

1.) Intern at an English cram school or studio
    I'm trying to look into whether I can intern for the Taiwanese English magazine/TV show, Studio Classroom. I don't have much connections with it, plus I don't live in Taipei, so the possibility of actually doing something with them is looking very bleak. But if God decides to put me there, it would be awesome.
    But if not, I'm always up for taking over a lesson or two at an English cram school. If allowed, I would totally force my students to speak only English and write in-class English essays to improve their English. Bahahahahahah. What would be more ideal though, is for me to teach public speaking! That would be extremely exciting. Having done Taiwanese public speaking, I know what Taiwanese people are used to... But it's all soooo robotic and canned and even comical to watch. I want to introduce a more conversational tone so it'll hopefully be a bit more practical for them to use. However, Taiwan doesn't provide as many speaking opportunities as the US does, but we'll see how things turn out

2.) Work at a Taiwanese restaurant that serves foreign customers!
    I'm starting to become interested in being a waitress. My mom offered me a job of being a waitress at this super fancy seafood place two years ago, but I refused because I can't stand the site of serving all these poor lobsters everyday. Even eating a lobster makes me a bit frightened. 

That's... pretty much it. ONE MORE COLLEGE APP AND I'M FREE!!!!

It seems like 90% of the seniors who applied early action/decision are getting into their colleges of their choice.

Vanderbilt, Emory, Amherst, Stanford, George Washington, Barnard, Tufts, Northwestern, Pomona, Bucknell, Princeton, Johns Hopkins, just to name a few.

The good thing is that all these people getting into these prestigious colleges just makes our high school a bit better. The bad thing is.. ALL OF THIS HYPE IS FREAKING ME OUT.

Now it seems like I'm the only one out of every single seventeen or eighteen year old out there who hasn't heard back from a college yet. Point Loma, where the frick is that letter you promised me TODAY??

I would very much like to open some imaginary presents now.

I just need to calm down and carry on. Deep breaths. Deeeeeeep breaths.